It's 1.14am now... Really late and unusual for me to be awake at this time of the night before a normal working day... That's cause I get to go into work 2 hours later than usual! Yeah... Why? Cause I went for a radio show that ended at midnight.


For those who read my previous entries, I should have mentioned slightly on the radio show. Basically, there is this program heart to heart on 938gm from 10pm to midnight every tue night. Each time they'll touch on a different topic. Then the director, assistant director and social worker/psychologist in my centre would take turns to go on air and discuss about it, while pple can call in to express their views too. So I went to sit in for the radio show today!! Very interesting...


If you're thinking if I went on air... actually no. but technically yes. I'll explain why later. Today's topic was on dowry cause of the newspaper article abt the indian bride who rejected the marriage cause groom asked for too much. I refused to go on air. Firstly, I don't know what to say, secondly, I shy, thirdly I need to think before I speak and I think radio shows don't really allow that element cause u need to be quick in reacting. But I did go on air as a "caller". Too shy to talk on air as a DJ, so I called in and gave my opinion. Of course they know that I called in but it was fine ah... It's very interesting to observe things in there for the first time. The newsreader could be reading news sitting down, and then standing up to get something and sitting down again. Things you don't know they're actually doing then you listen to the radio.


Ok... I'll touch till here. I'm getting tired....

today ah.. nothing very special actually. Spent the whole day sitting in front of the computer typing, plotting graphs with excel, trying to cut and paste the graphs. Basically trying to organize all the stats that we have come up for the project in a nice document to present to our director. Got a feeling I'll have to redo quite a bit after tomolo.


By the way, whichever guy says that computers are a very good tool, i'll whack that guy upside down. It was just so irritating today!! I had a few graphs in a Word document. So basically, I have to rearrange the graphs and type some words between the graphs and add some comments. Stupid computer or program. Most of the time when we move the graph to a position we want, it refuses to go there! And it'll jump right to the top of the word document and overlap the first graph. Then must wriggle it to where we want and it jumps to the front again!! IRRITATING!!! Then another problem comes.. Sometimes when i click the graph, the font of the axes and graph headings will suddenly change and i'll have to rechange it all over again. Third problem... For one document, I had a graph for general case, male and female. Somehow when we printed it, it showed female, male, female. But when we check the comp doc, it was correct mah. Luckily it came out proper the second time we printed it...


Ah well.. computers computers.. I think i spent more time trying to rearranging the graphs then doing proper work


Quite excited about tomorrow. Although I'd be doing my presentation.. but i'll be going to the radio station too! Mentioned earlier about the radio show we have.. I'll be going in tomorrow night. Trying to avoid speaking cause I heard it's webcast too. Ah well.. I think i'll be happy at the back..

Sighz.... I was writing this entry when my computer hung on me.. so irritating. Or maybe I was so longwinded. I wrote so long!!! Ah well, I got lots to write mah... Better start now...


Basically, I went to my first family conference and court hearing today! It's for juvenile case. Family conference will involve facilitator, probation officer, juvenile, family, maybe interpreter and other pple like teachers if needed. It's basically to work things out if needed. Usually for slightly more problematic cases where it might be better to settle before court.


So today... basically a juvenile crime case. And the facilitator tries to find out why and what might be best for the child. Home probation or to some girls' home. Well, today's case the girl cried twice. She's young. Only in lower sec. This is like my 3rd crying case in 2 weeks. First the divorce, the spousal abuse and now juvenile case. It's only my 3rd time so I guess it's still pretty emotional. Though I didn't cry with her or get my eyes filled with tears, somewhere in my heart you can just feel the pain. You won't know why she's crying. Perhaps she knows that she's wrong, she regrets or she's just trying to get a lighter sentence. It's quite bad to think this way but from what i heard, this is how some try to work their way out. Anyway, this is also a time where u not only have to listen for what they say but also the non-verbal behaviour. Sometimes you can see a slightly different behaviour, no matter what they try. That's all I'll say for the conference. Shall not say too much here...


Next, facilitator, probation officer and judge will discuss the case in a room first. And finalize the verdict also. Lastly, it's the court hearing. I wasn't wearing white top today cause it wasn't planned that I go for court today. So i sat at the public area, behind. Anyway the chamber's quite small. So the usual goes, judge says some stuff, reprimands people, ask some questions, parents or juvenile says stuff, judge gives verdict, asks for agreement, court close. Basically something like that ah.. But it's definitely interesting to see the whole process.


Another heart wrenching incident that happened... When the judge asked if parents have anything to add, the father said that he hopes that daughter can get home probation. And right after that he broke down and cry. Oh man.. can u imagine.. a father about 40 years old breaking down in front of you. My heart just sank right to the bottom. Women crying.. ain't anything new. Man crying, not just crying looking girlish and stupid, that's really really bad.. I don't know how many will feel the same as me, but it just didn't feel good at the moment.


So I guess that's all I'll say abt today although there were many many teeny weeny details which I will not go into. From my colleagues, I hear that there are definitely more heart wrenching cases that'll make u cry with them. And also some incorrigible cases. For example, the facilitator today saw this juvenile sitting outside the chamber, laughing and happily playing while waiting. And the next moment when she enters the chamber, she will sob like nobody's business. It makes u wonder how much u can believe the tears... It's true that some cry to get pity but there are also those that are genuine...


Ok.. that's the end for now...

It's me again! Today was another nice day...


In the morning, it was just basically routine project work. Reading journals, getting statistics and trends, trying to link the bits and pieces into a story. After lunch was more fun, cause Saji and I went to be kapo at the Family Transformation Protection Unit (FTPU) again. Basically, to just have fun and observe for our own sake and also for our 2nd project. Today I observed about 5 counselling sessions! Much more exciting than Monday. But for confidentitality sake, I can't reveal identity definitely. Other than that I think I can, but i'll still restrain most stuff ah....


Ok.. abuse cases. Even if I dun tell you, it's those typical drama mama stories. Occasionally, there are abusers who abuse alcohol. Not many. Only one of them today did. But the usual stories. Like being very hot tempered. Today I saw more violent cases than previously. Or perhaps just that I would treat it more seriously. Not the usual beating, but perhaps stuff like strangling? choking? knife threatening? Isn't it scary for all these things to happen in a family? Oh well.....


Basically family violence. As long as it involves family relations, it should be accounted for. Many are spousal abuse, some abused by parents, and some abused by children. Each case has a sad story behind. I guess for these counselling sessions, you don't get to hear the full story and the pain behind. We get people crying and it's really quite heartbreaking. Well, it hasn't gotten serious enuf for me to cry, but if u empathise, u can feel the pain.


Personally, I think it's important to find a good spouse. It takes a lot of courage and trust to get married. And to realize that ur spouse is violent and abuses u, that's really one big thing. For parents or siblings, that's worse. You're related by blood. Why do you want to harm your own blood? Perhaps, the most painful would be children abusing you. I'm single and have no kids so I won't really understand it fully. BUT imagining ur child beating or harrassing or bullying u! After all the years of bringing up, time and effort and you get an unfilial kid. Oh man.. I really hope that doesn't happen to me... Don't marry then no problems? Hmm.. maybe but it's not good to just avoid for these problems

Lalala.... It's Tuesday of the 2nd week of internship.. Today not as exciting as yesterday. It's just a normal day I guess. In the morning, my partner and I went to Central Library to do some research and find some journals for our divorce project. Then return to office, lunch and spent the afternoon going thru the readings and highlighting. As I said, nothing interesting. Unless you count the new things I learnt thru the journals.


Met my friend today for Vietnamese dinner! The place not bad. Somerset area. One big bowl only abt $6.50 and no service charge or gst. If anyone interested, we can go there next time.. There are 3 vietnamese cafes there and one or two pastry/western food places.. There's also one japanese restaurant! Looks quite interesting cause you'll have to remove your shoes at the door. But the prices will be higher, perhaps 20 bucks a meal?


Ok.. realized I didn't really talk abt what I'm supposed to do for internship. I'm working together with a fellow psy intern, Sajanee, on one major project on divorce, and a minor one on family abuse


Divorce: My colleagues/supervisors have done a survey on a small sample of couples undergoing divorce last year. So basically our job is to analyze the data and try to find the profile of divorce couples. Get some interesting results and write a report that might be printed for public reading? Of course that's if we are good enough. Basically since no one has done this in Singapore before, someone has to start this going. Perhaps MCDS might refer to it and see if any prevention can be done?


Family abuse: Basically, to come out with a set of questions for the counter staff to differentiate the enquiries pple come up with. We're trying to suggest ways where the counter staff can be more effective, cause some pple are quite irrelevant cause what they want has nothing to do with the unit. Some come for protection orders but they aren't very sure what they have to do.. Some just wanna enquire. So basically if they are trained and know what each person wants...


Ok... something interesting again! I almost forgot what I'm mainly writing this for. Every tues night listen to 938fm!! Heart to heart talk by my fellow colleagues, consisting of psychologists and social workers. After listening to 1 hr, I have an idea of what the show is about. Nothing abt psy and sw! hahaha... It basically depends on who calls in and what callers wanna talk abt... Tonight's show is about cleanliness of toilet, hygiene, feeding cats, sealions who eat french fries.. haha... They asked me and Saji if we wanted to go today, but Saji's moving house. Perhaps we'll go down next week to have a look. Just dun feel comfortable going on air (though they'll try to persuade us to). I'll see if I have just have fun looking...


Ok.. long entry... but....The end!

Hmm... 2 entries in a night. Don't think I'll get much of this. Just thought of saying some interesting things that I never really knew...


1. Judges in Family Court have their own special lift that no one else can take. Not even the staff like me! *hmpf*


2. I saw a judge today!!! or actually quite a few of them. It's like my 5th day in family courts and I finally saw one. Actually perhaps I saw many the past few days but I just couldn't recognize them. They are amazingly young!! Some of them look like mid 20s.. Couldn't believe they were judges. Just didn't fit into my stereotypical judge look


3. Divorce: many reasons and ways to divorce. One interesting reason is 'unreasonable behaviour'. And this can include minor stuff like.. my wife used to wash my clothes and do housework, but lately she has been neglecting work and not washing my clothes. Ain't the world strange..


I think I'm too sleepy.. I can't remember what points i had.. another day i guess... nite time!

Okok... my 2nd online journal entry. Chen chen has been telling me to get one so here I am officially. At least I can share what I have been learning and enjoying in life... At least that's my current mood cause I love my internship right now!!


Ok.. today basically I was working with my fellow intern, Saji, on a small project about family violence. What the project is... shall not bore you. Basically something to help counter staff with enquiries. We got briefed about what unit does and what pple can apply for, like personal protection order (PPO) or for the child etc etc.....


The interesting stuff.. I got to sit behind the counter and listen to enquiries or applications for PPO in the morning. Monday morning.. not many. Only about 2 or 3 women came to apply.. Afternoon was the more exciting part! There were maybe at least 10 pple who came to apply!! Amazingly how many people get abused by their family members. I got to sit in for 1 enquiry and 2 sessions with the applicant with a counsellor. Basically counsellor needs to ask for verification that it's true and then teach some techniques to avoid future abuse, ways to escape from abuse and helplines they can use. After the talking, the applicant will then go make a vow and wait for a trial date.


It's quite interesting, cause you never know what cases you get. Of course you get male applicants. Think i saw one but I didn't sit in for that one. Mainly females. Beaten by father, or maybe the whole family including siblings and mother gets beaten but only that gal brave enough to apply. Pple get threatened verbally.. Or some even get beaten for no apparent reason..


Oh well, it was definitely an eye opener for me. But I think maybe my criteria for spouse will get more stringent ah.. How to choose a good husband that's not a jerk... That's a big question...

This morning, I sat behind a one way mirror and observed a divorce couple in first session of counselling. Or shld i say more of settling their wishes about the child custody. It was less than one hour and i learnt quite a lot. Somehow, of course from this couple, I see the bad side of marriage right in front of my face. I also asked the counsellors there if they get affected by it. I guess u see the extreme bad side but it does make u think about ur relationship. You might see so many bad cases and not wanna marry. But perhaps you'll think twice about doing things that ur partner will be not happy with and care more, be concerned about not stepping into that path and not putting divorce as the first solution in any problems.


Interesting fact: At the beginning of the session, one counsellor told me that it's better if we don't move around too much cause 2 of us were wearing white blouses and the mirror doesn't work perfectly so we could be seen vaguely. So 2 of us guai guai sit on the chair. At one point of time, the husband was alone in the room while counsellor went to call wife in. The husband was standing at the mirror looking at the 2 green lights behind us that belongs to the speakers. 2 of us totally froze in our chair. Didn't dare to breathe and move. We were so scared he saw us cause he doesn't know we're there!! haha... so comical...


Then in the afternoon, we followed most of them to visit Andrew & Grace Home. It's a girls home for juvenile delinquents. I think it's quite a nice homely place. Using love to change the girls. They get to explore their hobbies like rearing fish and trying hydroponics! quite nice... the girls really look innocent.. My colleague said: 'don't look at them like so innocent. if u read their casefiles it's really terrible' Anyway, from what i know, most of them come from divorced families or problematic families. Some commit crime or their parents file for 'beyond parental control'. While some were abused in some way. This 15-yr girl was bringing us around. I didn't dare to ask but I vaguely heard the word 'sex abuse'. Yah.. I think if i were to hear their stories i'll be damn sad....


Oh well... I think I'm starting to enjoy myself at work..